Let's Be Realistic

Wow. Can't believe one of my teams actually won. Not just a game but THE GAME. I'm still in shock and sure that this is just some evil prank pulled on me by some of my 49er friends (Yes I have ACTUAL friends that are ACTUAL 49er fans, deal with it). 43 - 8? Like, really? Really, really? My teams don't win and if they do somehow make the playoffs they most certainly do not dominate the way my beloved Seahawks ran roughshod over the hapless Denver Broncos at MetLife Stadium on February 2nd, 2014. Don't give some crap about the PCHA's Seattle Metropolitans, which in 1917 became the first American hockey team to win the Stanley Cup or the Trail Blazers wining in 1877 or the Seattle Storm winning a couple titles. I'm talking about a current major sports title. Not the first annual Purple Rubber Duckie Championship some team that existed in some league that lasted for 3 whole months won back in 1823.





So obvisouly this means every team I cheer for is going to win right? ABSOLUTELY...not. Why? You have to ask? My teams are the Mariners, Trailblazers and Seahawks. While the Blazers are looking good and are an exciting young team, will the be able to sustain it? I should hope so but until they prove it I'm still a skeptical Pacific Northwest sports fan. "But the Mariners signed Cano! We are in the World Series for sure now!" Ummmm...are you serial right now? Name me the starting outfield for this team right now. What's that naive Seattle fan? That's what I thought. So Cano is going to lead the league in IBB (Intentional Walks for you non-baseball people, why the hell are you reading a sports blog anyway if that's the case?). Last time I checked, walks don't get you much. When this is your starting lineup...



you aren't really scaring anyone. If Hart and Morrison can come off injuries and the young guys continue to develop that maybe we will be in contention for a title. In 2054 when they outlaw non-steroid using players causing Brett Boone, Jesus Montero, Ryan Franklin and A-Roid will come out of retirement to lead the Mariners to their first playoff birth since 2001, eventually winning the title over the New York Yankees (Seattle moves to the Pacific Northwest Division which has the Greater Seattle School for the Deaf and Blind team as it's only other member). I am as big a Mariner fan as there is. I even going to my fisrt ever home opener this year which I'm legitimately excited about. However, I almost realistic and first and foremost, a Pacific Northwest sports fan.

Anyways, I think I'm handling this success well. Not sure I'll ever see it again so I'm enjoying it while I can.

CROWLAND OUT!

My Top 5 Most Disliked Teams in Sports

Please comment on who I left off and why they should be on the list.

5. New Orleans Pelicans. The appearing of this team is 100% the owners fault. You already have a lousy team that your franchise player couldn't get away from fast enough and now this? Pelicans? Really? College teams get a pass for stupid names (Banana Slugs, Dirtbags, Fighting Okra, etc.) but you should know better. Fan #1 "What's your mascot again?" Fan #2 "Uh, a big dumb looking bird that can hold a bunch on water in it's over sized beak." Fan #1 "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Way to make your team even more of a laughing stock Tom Benson.

4. Dallas Mavericks. Now that Jason Terry left they are a little more palatable for me but the Mark Cuban, Dirk Nowitzki, Rick Carlisle triumvirate is too much for me to get past.

3. Dallas Cowboys. I'm glad Tony Romo is their quarterback. Anyone who calls themselves "America's Team" for no apparent reason is open for extreme criticism. You are not my team Dallas. Screw you for having the audacity to try and force yourself on me.

2. New York Yankees. The same basic premise runs through several teams. Use the other teams as MLB scout teams, then overpay for all the talent so you win. Yankees are number one on this list of offenders as they are the only one that overpays for everyone (anyone remember Kevin Brown, yeah i thought not) and wins. How sweet it is to watch these teams fail though! Pretty much the only reason 

Dis-Honorable Mention: Red Sox, Angles, Dodgers, Marlins(weak not even one full season attempt), Blue Jays (good luck in 2013 as you clearly didn't learn from the Marlins demise and I hope you beat the Yankees at their own game).

1. THE SPORT OF SOCCER. I can barely force myself to pay attention during the World Cup. My patriotic side is all that brings soccer to my attention. This sport has all the bad elements of every sport and none of the redeeming values that make me want to give a crap. Low scoring, few select teams buying all he good players, flopping, insane fans and ESPN trying to force me into caring. Any sport where a guy can writhe around on the ground after being phantom kicked by an opponent simply to try and get a free kick and hopefully get your opponent kicked out of the game and then get up after the call has been made and go back to running around has little to no credibility with me. Even the NBA has addressed this issue by fining players for flopping. I wouldn't mind going to a local teams game at some point as I try to keep an open mind about everything and give everything a shot more than once as you never know when someone is just having an off day. However, I'm not holding my breath. I wonder if this has anything to do with the fact that in middle school I got moved down to the kindergarten and 1st grade team and still sucked....

Other teams that didn't quite make the cut...

Los Angles Clippers. Please be good at something other than dunking. 

Utah Jazz. Malone's elbows and Stockton's hands = HOF of dirty players

The sport of hockey. Could a sport possibly give less of a crap about their fans?

NFC West. Can't stand any team in my own team's (in the one sport where my team is competitive) division.

What you can expect from this blog...

Hello fellow Crowlandites!

Finally after much anticipation and delay because I'm lazy and because I'm currently recovering from foot surgery so I have nothing else better to do...let the blogging begin!

I know I'm already going to have 3 followers (thanks mom and dad!) so I'm pretty excited about getting this blog going. This is a blog for the little people. The people who's teams are farm systems for the real teams in MLB. You know, like the Yankees, Red Sox, Dodgers and Angels (Shut up Blue Jays! You haven't proven anything yet. I predict you are this year's Miami Marlins). I hear Oakland fans out there saying "But Crowland! Moneyball works!" To that I say "PSSSSHHHHAW". I guess if you call making the playing once every 15 years and then getting ousted in the first round a success than congratulations! I'm sure Billy Beane (and his family) appreciates you naivety. Anyhoo, I digress. This is a blog for the little people, by the little people (actually I'm close enough to 6' that I consider myself actually 6' tall and I'm slightly over 200 lbs so I guess I'm not really a "little person". I would hate to get an irate email from Vince Troyer denouncing my newly claimed status as BLOGMASTER OF THE UNIVERSE and lose my little people following.) for the little people. The fan who is tired of watching their team lose year after year not because of there own fault,unless Bill Bavasi has anything to do with your team. If he does, RUN and run fast to the cheering section of your next favorite team. He will destroy your team from the inside out. In fact, anyone out there have his address? I have a 24 pack of eggs waiting for his fat shiny bald head. Adam Jones and Greg Sherill for Eric Bedard? Really Bavasi? REALLY???

Man I digress alot. I'm not really sure if I'm even really using that correctly. I know its different from disect. That's what Bavasi will do to your team if he gets near it. Oh wait no. That's DESTROY IT FOR THE NEXT 10 YEARS!